People

Dating In 2020: It’s The Year To Grow Together Or Grow Apart

October 31, 2020 By Jessica Garcia

2020 has brought many folks to a whole new level of “woke-ness”. In other words, issues that have often been swept under the rug are now being faced straight on. This applies not only to social justice issues, but to mental health and romantic relationships as well. Truth is, times have changed. So certain issues that would’ve probably been ignored or forgiven a few years ago, are now becoming deal-breakers in some relationships. Here are just a few of them. 

Check them out and let us know, would you consider these to be relationship deal-breakers? 

With so much awareness on mental health now, there’s plenty of social media pages that point at the signs of a toxic relationship. This TikTok video is just one example. 

The video above comes from TikTok user Alina Lepak. If you scroll through her profile, you’ll find a ton of videos about relationship advice. As an emotional intelligence educator, Lepak’s goal is to be able to provide easy access to healthy relationship tips and advice. 

Speaking of toxic, would you want to date someone who tells you what you can and can’t wear? This video breaks down why this is a major issue.  

@chinforshort

#stitch with @keizukie let women wear what they want. Tired of repeating myself ????

♬ original sound – My Name Is Chinyelu

Trying to control someone else’s wardrobe based on an insecurity of your own just doesn’t seem fair. If you strongly dislike how your partner dresses, then you probably shouldn’t be with that person. 

What if your partner refuses to wear a mask out in public in the midst of this global pandemic? Would you still want to date them? 

With so many COVID cases and deaths happening every day, wearing a mask in public is the least everyone can do for the safety of themselves and others. At the end of the day, not wanting to wear a mask boils down to ignorance and selfishness. 

Or what if your partner refuses to stop saying the n-word? Would you tolerate that or call them out on it? 

@nityy._

#stitch with @kadyforney btw y’all I’m Afro Latina I got called Mulatto a couple times so don’t start #respectpoc #respecttheculture #blm #hlm #mlm

♬ original sound – ????$erenity Bitch????

Just like the young TikTok user says in this video, it comes down to common respect. Now that there’s so much information out there on why saying the n-word if you’re not Black is not okay, there’s no excuse to turn the blind eye. 

At the end of the day, it’s all about figuring out what types of values and morals you look for in a partner. 

There’s no such thing as the perfect partner, which is why it takes commitment and effort to reach a healthy level of emotional maturity. 

And of course, a healthy relationship takes two people. It can’t be just one single person putting in the work.

Credit: The Breakfast Club

In the words of actor Taraji P. Henson, “When one person is taking on the weight of the entire relationship, it’s never going to work.” Remember that it’s not your responsibility to be your partner’s therapist. You both have to be willing to put in the work, or else it can lead to emotional exhaustion for the one person who is carrying all of the weight. 

No one is perfect, so it’s up to you and your partner to decide if you’re both willing to learn and grow together. To start off, you can use social media to your advantage to learn about what you and your partner’s needs are in a relationship. 

Every person thinks differently, loves differently, and feels differently. So it’s all about figuring out what those differences are and adjusting in a healthy way. 

Here’s a video with tips if you’re dating an over-thinker.

Everyone has different emotions and different needs, so the more you learn about it, the more you’ll be able to understand and empathize. 

And if you’re not dating or just got out of a toxic relationship, remember to keep doing the inner work. 

You attract what you are, so the more you work on yourself, the closer you’ll get to meeting someone who deserves your love. And this goes for romantic relationships, friendships, and family – it’s all about growing together or growing apart. 

What would you say are some of your deal breakers in a relationship? And what advice would you give on building a stronger relationship?

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